You Don’t Have to Do this Alone

 

You don’t have to do this alone. 

That was my first thought this morning. 

Do what alone? I ask. 

Your marriage. 

My husband’s been telling me this more and more lately. We’ve been trying to have a baby and we’ve run into a slight snag:
I don’t really like sex and sometimes it’s painful for me. 

When I told him that I was going to figure it out, he lovingly said, “Why don’t WE figure it out. Together.”

It was like he was speaking a foreign language to me. 

Another person to figure things out with… together? You can have that? 

I’ve almost always figured out life alone, so it never occurred to me that I didn’t have to do marriage alone. 

I know that sounds weird – the very idea of marriage is that you’re WITH someone – but I think I’ve been trying to do marriage alone. 

Figuring out my brain has always been a solo job. Sometimes I call in coaching consultants, but mostly I put pen to paper to work it out. Once I figure out the solution to my problems, I inform the other person of the good news. 

While this strategy got me here, it’s not going to get me there, because I’m not supposed to do this next part alone. 

We’re supposed to do this next part together.

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