This blog is fun for me to write, but it wasn’t always fun.
I spent at least 6+ months thinking about it and not doing it because I believed that the only reason a life coach would blog would be to sell and/or get clients.
Did you know that people (including life coaches) blog for reasons other than to sell or get clients? Some of them do it for fun.
This statement seems simple and obvious now that it’s written out, but at the time it seemed Very True.
With a bit of digging, my coach and I discovered that that lie was just a convenient excuse. I was scared to put myself out there and potentially have people criticize me.
In her book, The Art of Believing on Purpose, Bev Aron writes
Excuses are tricky because, while they do provide relief from having to take responsibility in the moment, if you don’t dive into your own wisdom, you will find probably find that they don’t sit well with you.
Even if you were let off the hook, the ultimate feeling of weakness and shame isn’t worth it.
She’s right. Every time I let myself off the hook for starting to blog, I felt a little relief. But then after a few days, I would feel sad and start to wonder, what if I had started…
After my coach called me out on my BS excuse and dared me to start (thanks Elizabeth!), I just started.
Blogging has exceeded my expectations. Not only is it fun, I’ve learned so much about myself and my clients through exploring my thoughts. I’m excited about the new ideas I’ve created. I’ve become a better writer. I’ve started building a better relationship with myself by honoring my commitment to post here daily.
I’ve posted a few things that brought up a lot of shame and anxiety for me and even that part has been interesting. I then get to explore why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.
If I had believed all of this was possible, I would have started months ago. But I didn’t because I believed my excuse was true.
Not starting is a pattern that shows up a lot for me and for my clients.
It seems safer to stay where you are – at least that’s what our primitive brains tell us. It also tells us stuff like this:
- I don’t know enough.
- I don’t have time.
- I need to do more research.
- I’ll probably fail anyway, so why bother?
Our primitive brain’s job is to keep us safe from harm. It doesn’t know that negative emotions like insecurity, fear, anxiety and worry associated with doing things outside of our comfort zone aren’t threatening to our survival.
It also doesn’t know that what keeps you safe also keeps you stuck.
What’s also true for me and for my clients is that when we actually do the thing we’re most afraid of, we discover that it’s not that bad at all. In fact, it’s liberating.
The hard part was all the mental BS leading up to the liberation.