So many of us rely on societal rules to help us feel in control and to feel like things are right or just.
Societal rules are things like, you should wait in line for your turn. Or you shouldn’t ride someone’s ass in traffic.
But really those rules are just someone’s thoughts about how things should go. We agree with them and adopt them as our thoughts. We tend to think that if we follow them that things will be fair.
What we forget is that not everyone agrees to the rules.
As I’m preparing for my first podcast episode for Bachelor Life Coach, I see fairness (or rather unfairness) as a common theme in the premiere.
The contestants rely on the show rules (spoken or unspoken) to help them feel in control and think that they will have a fair chance to win the bachelor’s heart.
They believe that if everyone just takes the same amount of time with the suitor, all will be well.
But you know as well as I do that this never happens.
There’s always someone who justifies playing by her own rules and takes as much time as she wants in order to get different results.
While she runs the risk of being villainized by the other contestants by what she’s doing, she also increases her chances of being noticed.
Consider the thought process of someone who follows the rules on the show:
Her perspective is probably something like this: I’ll just wait for my turn to be seen.
That seems the fair thing, right? But notice how that contestant gives away all her power to the rules. The result is that she doesn’t take responsibility for being seen.
Then consider the thought process of someone like Hannah Ann who approached Peter three times on the first night.
Her perspective is likely this: I’m going to be seen no matter what.
And her result? She puts herself out there to be seen. Peter can’t help but notice and form an opinion of her. He gives her the first impression rose.
Hannah Ann decided not to follow the rules and the risk paid off.
She got what she wanted even if the other girls reacted by thinking it was unfair.
Nowhere is it written that if we follow the rules that things will come out evenly for all of us.
You get to decide how you want to adopt rules into your life.
If they limit you from getting what you want, then they may not be rules you want to follow.