I was coaching a client yesterday about switching jobs.
She wouldn’t be seeing patients anymore and thinking about that was making her sad.
Whenever she’d get a little down about things, she’d remind herself that she could always go back to seeing patients if she wanted to.
That thought made her feel better in the moment.
Seems fine, right?
I asked her if she ever had the thought in her marriage that if things got hard that she could just get divorced.
No, she said, never. I never think that way.
Then I asked, How might thinking that you could always just quit your new job if it gets hard effect things?
She responded that she wouldn’t be all in. She would have one foot out the door.
The more we explored her current pattern of thinking, the more she realized that she was using the thought that she could just go back as a way to not feel sad. She was avoiding the feeling.
I suggested to her that she just process sadness instead of dismissing them.
This is part of the emotional journey of leaving one part of our life and being fully committed to the next part.
And really, we can never truly go back to anything because that part of our life is over. If we are taking a job we used to have, we’d have new thoughts and feelings. We would not be recycling the old ones.
Be willing to shed your old identity so you can grow into the new one.
Have both feet in the door.