Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Earlier this year I pitched an idea to my boss that we should offer one to one coaching to our clients. 

Much to my surprise, she said yes. She also said she wanted to start it immediately. 

My response was OH SHIT. 

At that point I’d done a lot of coaching, but not with DOCTORS. 

My brain had lots of thoughts about them being DOCTORS (and me not being one). 

What they think of me?
Will they think I’m not good enough?
Will they take me seriously? 

In the days before my first call, my thoughts of “oh shit” turned to literal shit. Like full on diarrhea. I could not stop pooping. 

via GIPHY

Of course I made that mean that my call would be shit.
How could it not be with this type of bodily response? 

On the day of the call, I dialed the first number and kept repeating to myself: you can do this, you can do this. 

When my first client, let’s call her Anne, answered with a boisterous, “Hellooooo Lynn!” I felt immediately relieved. I knew that it would all be OK. 

Fast forward to this past weekend, I finally met Anne at an event my boss was hosting. 

During a conversation, she told me that she’s been enjoying reading this blog. Up until this point I had no idea that anyone was  reading besides my coach, Elizabeth. 

I realized in that moment I’d been carrying along the same type of worry about this blog that I had for that very first call.

What they think of me?
Will they think I’m not good enough?
Will they take me seriously? 

When Anne said what she did, I once again knew it was going to be OK, no matter what. 

While it’s been super uncomfortable for me to put myself out here so visibly, it’s also been really great for me. 

Everyday I watch my clients do brave things, not just at work, but in their personal lives with their spouses, friends, with themselves. From hearing their stories and coaching them, I’m opening up at deeper and deeper levels with myself.
I’m willing to be brave too.

I’m starting to think that Anne might be my patron saint of doing scary shit. I think we all need one of those. 

 

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