I woke up with a heaviness in my chest.
You know the feeling?
The familiar draped sadness over your body that’s with you before you open your eyes.
It seems like something must be going terribly wrong to feel this way.
Like really wrong, yet nothing comes to mind immediately.
You start scanning.
Did I eat something I shouldn’t have? Is there a problem in my marriage? Is someone mad at me?
You search, but don’t find anything. You get worried.
Why this feeling? What’s wrong with me?
You start to feel worse. Heavier. Oh, this is going to be a bad day.
The questions keep coming, quicker now.
How will I get through today feeling this bad?
How will I make those calls?
Answer those questions?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And then it occurs to you that maybe nothing is wrong.
Maybe you are just a human who is having a sensation in her body and it doesn’t have to mean anything.
Your brain quiets down. You sit with the feeling and watch it.
It’s really not that bad. You’ve felt this way before and it was OK.
Maybe it will be OK today.
You start to feel lighter.
Not 100% back to normal, but better.
This is just a feeling in your body.