Lean In to the Freak Out
My eating has been all over the board this week which is a clue to me that something is going on.
It used to bother me when this happened. I’m a weight loss coach for f*ck sake! I should have this figured out! But self-judgment isn’t useful, so now I just say thank you.
When I gently ask, “What’s going on, love?” I get all the answers.
✔️ You’re going to bomb the group coaching calls this week.
✔️ The new woman at work is judging you and thinks you’re a terrible coach and teacher.
✔️ You’re meeting with the sexologist and you’re finally going to find out that you are broken.
✔️ You shouldn’t have signed up for that volunteer coaching gig because that’s just another group of people to judge you.
Ah. It makes sense that my primitive brain is reacting by telling me to eat food. It thinks I’m going into a war zone and that food will keep me safe or at least well-fed while I’m trapped in a bunker with nothing to eat.
I call in my prefrontal cortex for a consult. What do you think is going on?
You’re feeling anxious because of a thought in your brain. The pit in your stomach is a result of this thought. The pit is not an indication that something terrible is about to happen. It just means that you are a human having a thought.
This is information I can work with. I’m a human being having a thought and a feeling. Nothing bad is about to happen. I feel a little bit better knowing this.
What do I do next?
Lean in to the freak out.
Schedule 10 minutes a day to release all of this emotion instead of bottling it up. Set a timer and then ugly cry, scream, complain, blame, go to the worst case scenario. Dial it up to 100, back down to 30, and then back up to 100. Be with the emotion. When the timer goes off, set the freaking out aside and carry on with your day. Remind your brain that you are the one in control.
And then what?
When your primitive brain wants to freak out again, let it know that freak out time is tomorrow. The only way through is by processing these emotions instead of eating. This is the investment you make to become the next version of yourself. It’s simple, but not always easy. You can do hard things.