It’s not me, it’s you
I was recently hanging out with a friend of mine who I think is very negative.
She picked me up from my home and when we got in the car, all she could talk about was the terrible weather and the slow traffic.
Here we go, my brain said, here we go.
The rest of the night I fixated on what I deemed to be negative.
My brain complained about it the whole time. “I don’t wanna hear about all the stuff you want to buy! I don’t wanna hear about the shitty things that happened with that other friend of ours!”
As the night went on, I became more and more irritated. When will this be OVER?
So I tried to trick myself into feeling better by thinking that if she suddenly died, I’d be happy for this time together. Then I would look back and be SO glad we hung out.
Now I’m thinking about her dead. That’s uplifting.
When I said goodbye at the end of the night I realized that I could think differently about the evening.
Instead of labeling this as the worst experience, I could decide I had the best experience.
That seems like it would be a lie, but if we take a step back, we can see that it was MY brain who decided it was negative in the first place. I fixated on all the things to feel bad about.
I could just as easily focused on how she picked me up despite the shitty weather. Or look at all the good things from the night (we got a free dinner! we picked up the convo right where we left off!).
But…. I’m not there yet.
Right now I would just trying to feel better about what I think is an annoying situation.
I still can’t see that situation is neutral and my thinking is annoying.
In order to get there, I would have to acknowledge that when I wear green-tinted glasses, the world appears to me as green.
Only by taking off those glasses, could I see that the world from a different point of view.