I could stay here

Yesterday my brain offered me a surprising thought: You could stay here. 

As a full-time RVer, staying means giving up the easy dopamine hit of always arriving someplace new. 

It means letting go of asking what’s next and instead asking what’s here?

I don’t just mean asking what’s here in terms of the town, the restaurants, the scenery. I mean what’s here in terms of my life. 

When I take away travel as a buffer, do I like what I see? Do I like the life I’ve created for myself?

That’s a courageous question for any of us to ask because if the answer is no, you suddenly get to live with that knowledge and that can be unsettling. 

Staying for me means learning how to be present with myself without distraction, something I’ve spent a lot of time avoiding over the years. 

You could stay here feels like an invitation from my mind to drop the distraction and open up to layer of me that I haven’t explored yet. 

If I had to guess, I’d say that layer is about learning to let people in without worrying they will leave me. 

But first I have to learn to not leave me.

 

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