Living the Rich Life with Rachelle Siebke | How to Get Rich, Episodes 7 & 8

Lynn Grogan and Rachelle Siebke image

What is YOUR rich life… and how do you actually live it? On this final installment of the How to Get Rich series, Rachelle Siebke joins me for one last conversation to wrap up the show.

I ask her the question that has been burning on my mind for the last few weeks: How DO you manage cash flow when your income is variable? And she gave me a great answer that you don’t want to miss (especially if you’re an entrepreneur!)

It’s a super fun episode and I can’t wait for you to listen!

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:


Reality Show Life Coach Podcast 

Covering: How to Get Rich, Episodes 7 & 8

Lynn Grogan (Host) & Rachelle Siebke (Guest Cohost)

Lynn Grogan [00:00:02]:

Alright. Welcome back to the Reality Show Life Coach podcast. Today, we’re going to talk about the last 2 episodes of the How to Get Rich series episode 7 and 8. So with me today, I have, of course, cohost Rachelle Siebke, and she and I are gonna wrap this up together. So, Rachelle, I’m gonna have you introduce yourself once again just in case somebody’s tuning in for the 1st time.

Rachelle Siebke [00:00:25]:

Yeah. Thanks for having me. My name is Rachelle Siebke, and I am a money coach for life coaches and other heart centered purpose driven business owners who want to make their decisions on anything other than their bank account balance. Right? They’re really looking for the richest, truest, most authentic lives. And it matters so much to me because I know that the more sustainable they are in their business because their finances are set up, not only in their business, but also the reason we own a business is to take money home. I wanna make sure that both of those things are in alignment so that they can continue doing the most important work that they’re doing in the world means so much to me. And the other thing that is really important to me is that I specifically work with women. I work with, men as well. But, I specifically work with women. I also work with couples, and I work with men who reach out to me as well. But the main heart of my work comes down to I want women to be fully resourced. And that means that they have the time, the money, the energy, and the decision making skills to live, have and have any situation without restriction.

Lynn Grogan [00:02:00]:

That’s beautiful. You do life changing work, I don’t think any of us can get away from having to handle money in any way, shape, or form as much as we might wanna ignore it or shove it away or just, like, put it on autopilot at any point. It impacts our lives, and it can has the power to do amazing things for our lives. So I love that that’s the work you do, and it’s been such a joy to get to know you through this whole series because it’s given me a lot to think about, and I’ve had ton of people reach out and just say, okay. Wait. This is great. In the tracks. I wanna talk about this. So absolutely love it. I also wanna mention if anybody’s watching this on YouTube because I do upload the videos from these podcasts to YouTube on my YouTube channel. The link will be in the show notes. As you might notice, I’m in a different place today. I am in the local library, So I travel full time, and this week, we just happen to not have great Wi-Fi in our RV. And so I checked out a room at the local library in Monroe, Wisconsin. Thanks to them for hosting me today and hosting this podcast because it’s such a great resource. I think sometimes we forget is that local libraries. They’re here for us.

Rachelle Siebke [00:03:09]:

Totally. And I see you even have a door, so you’re recording a podcast. I think so many people think about this When they’re owning a business or like, oh, I need to rent an office space. I need to hey. Check out your local library first. Maybe they have a booth that you can use that’s private that you could actually record in, or you could have coaching call sessions in, or if you’ve Got like this amazing lifestyle like Lynn’s where you are location independent. You can totally Do that even if you get somewhere in your Wi Fi is not amazing.

Lynn Grogan [00:03:44]:

Absolutely. And I will say, I have been in places, Fayetteville, Arkansas comes to mind, Wichita, Kansas, where they actually they have full on podcast booths that are fully kitted out with sound foam. They have recording studios, professional video recording studios. You could do, like, a whole course in them. You can check it out and use it. I have seen amazing things at libraries. So you might be actually really surprised when you walk in. You might have professional quality studio equipment in there and not even know it. A lot of libraries are upgrading these days. So just a plug for that is you might be surprised of what you can do for very, very cheap at your local library. 

Rachelle Siebke [00:04:21]:

I love the local library. Vote for local libraries. Yay.

Lynn Grogan [00:04:27]:

Alright. So like I said, we’re gonna talk about episode 7 or 8. We check back in with Drew, Sarah and Reggie, Frank, and Millie and Christian. And the first thing I am absolutely dying to talk about is something that I know, Rachelle, you specialize in is, Ramit and Frank talk about Frank transitioning to be an entrepreneur and what is going to happen with his money. And this is something I found a lot about a lot because I have gone from being a W2 employee to an entrepreneur, and the money is not the same. Like, there’s months where I’ll sign several clients, and then it’s like a windfall of money, which we experience with Frank, and then there’s months with nothing. And it’s trying to figure out how to navigate that space where it’s it’s not the consistent flow that people are typically used to if they have been w two employee. So, I mean, I just had a big note here. I was like, Rachelle, I need all of your advice and anyone listening probably wants it too. Yeah.

Rachelle Siebke [00:05:22]:

I have so much love for Frank and that he has, like, such a great dream, and he’s willing to, like, Go for it. And, obviously, you know, he won the circle. I didn’t watch The Circle. I know you said in the last episode that you actually watched the circle. So, you probably have more background on that, but I wanna go back one moment to a couple episodes ago where he said, I just it’s hard for me to keep up making the content and doing the thing on the side of my full time job. So many of my clients and me, myself are also in the situation where, you know, we keep our full time job as our full time job is the investor in our next stage, right, the investor in our business. And so and I I know Ramit gave him several sort of like, he was sort of like gently nudging him, like, wow, you’re really gonna do this? Frank’s friend was extremely concerned. You could see her face like, you’re gonna quit your job? And I do wanna say, Everybody’s risk tolerance is different, and it’s not for anybody else to say what you should do. Right? So if your risk tolerance is such that you’re like, hey. I’m gonna go ahead and go for this and See what happens. I’ll figure it out. I know that, Lynn, if you wanna talk to that.

Lynn Grogan [00:06:55]:

Yeah. I mean, that was my story too. I mean, we, briefly had a house, you know, during COVID. We sold the house. We did get a windfall for money in that, and that was one of the things that allowed me to go, you know what? I’m gonna take the leap – it’s very similar to Frank. There wasn’t like this massive plan to go into business for myself, and here’s the whole structural plan. And I know exactly, you know, what’s gonna go on here. I was just like, you know what? Leap of faith. And I know, and I trust myself that if I needed to, you can get another job or a part time job or a full time job or something. I am the income earner for my family. My husband has been working on his novel for the last several years. We’re both following our dreams. It’s something that we get super excited about, but it also comes with, you know, you don’t have the traditional stability there that, a lot of people have. But we don’t have kids. So I think that for a lot of people that might be a little bit scarier if you had a lot, you know, like other people in your life you were caring for. But, Yeah. I mean, I was willing to take the risk because it’s something that I’ve dreamed of doing for a very, very long time with the knowledge that like, Yeah. At some point, there might be, a job that I go and apply for that’ll help support the dream. But, yeah, we just left for it just kinda like Frank did.

Rachelle Siebke [00:08:14]:

Yeah. And I’m gonna get to what Frank can do to, Yes. Stabilize his income in a moment, but I also like, 2 things that I wanna point out there. I think one of the things that you do that is the most beautiful is Many of us will get a job and work hard and do the things so that we can do the thing that we love most, and you Took, a calculated risk with a windfall and a, dream. Right? Like, a very clear vision of what you wanted your rich life to look like was writing a novel and being a full time coach and traveling around the US in an RV. So what you’ve done is actually reversed the order and that, you’re doing the thing that you want to do most right now, and I love that so much for you. And the second thing being, the only way that we can ever fully truly run out of money is if we don’t trust ourselves to make money when it’s time to make money. So what I mean by that is I see people have, a windfall or a a stash of cash set aside, and they’re like, Yeah. But I don’t wanna spend that because what if I need it later? And that’s it’s a valid thing, and it’s For sure, like, traditional financial advice that we’re taught. Like, don’t blow it all in one place. But if there’s Something that you wanna do, there’s a big dream that you wanna follow, and you have an opportunity for it, and you have a stash of cash for it, and you don’t Do it because you’re afraid you might not have money later. You’re running out of money now ahead of time while you still have money, but you’re running out of money in a different way. Right? Like, You’re actually passing up on an opportunity that you have money for because you don’t want to run out of money later, which really means You don’t wanna miss an opportunity later. So when you can trust yourself to always be your own source, to always be your own resource, you Never actually run out of money. And I just wanna point that out because I think it’s an interesting twist on financial traditional advice.

Lynn Grogan [00:10:27]:

Yeah. And I, I have really appreciated our conversations because I do think that there along the way have spend these moments where I feel like shame or embarrassment or a little bit of guilt for the way that, you know, we have gone about things because it doesn’t follow maybe what Ramit would say to do or somebody else might say to do. And I think that’s It’s been helpful for me to hear your different perspectives on things because I’m like, you know what? Maybe this is okay. Like the way I’ve gone about it, It’s just our choice of what to do, and it may not be the traditional advice, but we don’t do things conventionally in my household anyway. But it’s it’s it’s And it’s felt empowering to me because I was like, oh, this is my path. And we get to navigate from this space. So I, I don’t know. I appreciate that, and I just wanted to point that out because it’s been helpful to me.

Rachelle Siebke [00:11:22]:

I’m so happy to hear that. And, also, I wanna just say, When I’m saying this, I’m not talking about the, systematic structural oppression where people are actually out of, like, do run out of money or do not make enough money because there is a system in place that is purposely Oppressing you from being able to live, a life in which your resources are met. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s a totally issue. So I always wanna make sure that when I say the only way you can run out of money, right, is I’m not talking about those scenarios. I’m talking about scenarios in which you actually are making your bills and you actually are having a stash of cash set aside And you still want to hold on to it so you don’t miss out of an opportunity.

Lynn Grogan [00:12:10]:

Yeah. Yes. And thanks for pointing that out too, because I do think there’s some differences out there. And, you know, like and I am in, like, this fortunate category that I am able to do what I’m able to do, and pay the bills and all that things. So yeah.

Rachelle Siebke [00:12:24]:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what is my advice for Frank as he is moving from a w two, employee to an entrepreneur. So a lot of it there’s a a lot of mindset things, I think, that will go into this. But Today, I’m gonna talk specifically about systems, habits, and routines because that is the thing that is the tool that I use in my work. And I think that having some systems and habits and routines in place give us a lot of security. So, I like to have a plan for the money as it’s coming in the door. Meaning, As the revenue comes in the door, we have buckets or envelopes that we are putting that money in, and we do it the same way every single I like to use a system called profit first, which means every time money comes in the door, a certain amount of percentage goes aside to profit first, which is a percentage that you take out of your revenue and you do not spend on purpose. So, it’s not the same way that we think about, is your business profitable on a p and l statement. Like, there there’s a whole thing about that, but I’m just talking about the money coming in the door gets separated out into a separate cash pile, and that is the money that you use to pay yourself a quarterly bonus. So, I’m gonna set that aside for now because I think the next the most important thing here is setting aside a percentage that is gonna be used to pay your quarterly taxes, your federal taxes at the end of the year. So this is super important for two reasons. 1, a lot of, entrepreneurs will get into, Not setting the money aside, and then, when tax time comes, They don’t have the money to pay their taxes. This specifically happens when we are in the red, And so quarterly taxes are not due because we’re not actually making a profit. But then when we get to the point where we’re finally making money, we haven’t been setting aside, and now there’s a big tax payment. Right? And so a lot of entrepreneurs will get caught in this, I haven’t had to pay taxes. I don’t pay quarterly taxes. And now I finally made it big. Right? Like, I finally have been planting these seeds for 3 to 5 years, And now I’m actually profitable, I bet. Like, all of the all of the seeds I planted are sprouting, and I didn’t have a system to set aside, so I spent it. And now there’s a tax bill, and now I have to put it on a payment plan. So that’s One thing that happens, and it happens really frequently. So if you are in this category, please do not beat yourself up. Let’s just, like, Set up a system to not do it again in the future. The second thing that I see happen is a complete opposite end of the spectrum, which is I’m afraid to spend any of this money in my business because I know taxes are gonna be due, and I don’t know what they’re gonna be. And or, I know that I’m probably gonna wanna invest in my business or maybe get my own coaching, because as coaches, we love coaching. And, then what happens is we don’t pay ourselves. So now the reason we’re in business is To pay ourselves so that we can live rich life, and now we’re not paying ourselves. And we’re also sort of Unintentionally teaching ourselves that we don’t have enough money, like, we’re not doing well in business because we’re broke, when actually, You probably are doing great in business or fine in business or average in business or the thing is working, but you’re just finding more and more evidence that it’s not working because you’re not paying yourself. So I think both ends of the spectrum can be really sticky. So, again, profit first, set aside for profit, set aside for taxes, then pay yourself. There’s a certain percentage that you pay yourself, and then, you wanna do that consistently. So, you use, like, an average of the money so that, as you said, Some months you have really big months. Maybe you have a launch, and so somebody pays in full. Maybe 6 people pay in full. But you’re going to be serving those people for 6 months so you don’t have any more time capacity in your calendar to make more sales that it’s gonna be able pay yourself again. So you wanna pay yourself slowly over time if people are paying all up front. Or, maybe you sign 3 new clients 1 month, and the next month you sign none. So if you can figure out a way to set the money aside in a owner’s comp savings account and then decide what you’re gonna pay yourself payroll. So you set it aside in the savings account, and then You decide on what is my payroll. Is my payroll once a month and I pay all of my bills once a month? Is my payroll every 2 weeks? Because I liked that. I knew what that was when I was a w to employee. So make a decision upfront, and then automate the system. And if you don’t automate it, then just Make a plan, make a decision, and don’t waiver. Just do it every single time. Even if you make $100 or $500 and it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, Just do the same thing with the same percentages. It all evens out, and it works over time. But the best thing about it is taking away all that mental drain on what should I do? What should I do? I don’t know if I have enough. Right? Like, all of that goes away when you have a system that you follow on purpose with percentage amounts over time.

Lynn Grogan [00:18:31]:

And then do you have recommendations on those percentages, or is it just different for everybody’s business?

Rachelle Siebke [00:18:37]:

It is a little bit different for everybody’s business. The book, profit perks by Mike Michalowicz. It’s what I’m referencing in here. And his, I’m just gonna use general, targeted percentages for I believe it’s for businesses that are, up to $200,000 in revenue. He recommends 5% for profit, 15% for tax, 50% for paying yourself or owner’s compensation, and 30% for business operating expenses. And so when you do that, consistently. Again, you might look at your information and be like, I haven’t ever taken profit. So the idea of taking 5% of profit or I’m not making any money. There’s no way I could pay myself profit. Start with 1%. It’s Just like Ramit said in this, he said, your investment plan is not how did he say it? He said your, I think it was, like, your investment numbers are not as important as having the plan itself, so I wanna say the same thing here. How much you pay yourself, how much you set aside is not as important as that you are doing it and you are setting it aside. And then you’re going to Just like Ramit talks about turning up dials. Right? Just over time, once a quarter, you’re just gonna turn the dial a little bit more, and where that will likely come from as business operating expenses. A lot of small business owners overspend on operating expenses. It’s really easy to get caught up in courses, shiny bells and whistles, different, systems. I mean, I can’t even tell you how many Systems we’ve all signed up to learn from. Right? And then we, like, we take their, like, subscription that they recommend, and then you know? So looking at that All at once can be really overwhelming, but when you’re like, okay. And I had I have had, clients that I worked with in the past where they, like, looked at it, and they were So distraught. Like, this is like, I I don’t I don’t like any of it. Sorry. Like, I feel worse now. It’s better to know, And then you can make some changes. It’s just like, I think it was Drew when they were looking, and he was like, oh, I I need to make more money. Like, that’s the bottom line. I need to make more money. So sometimes it can be, oh, the bottom line is I need to make more money so that my operating expenses stay the same, but I’m making more money and it’s still within that 30 percentile. And sometimes it’s, this is the most money I’m probably going to make because I’m at my time capacity. I’m at my price, hike capacity for right now, And, maybe I don’t need some of these things that I thought I needed, or I would really like to have these things, but what I Like more is to go on the vacation that my family wants to go on, so I need to make sure or maybe it’s pay a bill or, you know, We wanna make sure that we are paying ourselves before we’re committing to a monthly net in our operating expenses. So the monthly net is what I like to say. This is your bare minimum to stay open. Do you know what that number is? Knowing that number Really powerful because then you can choose what do I want to do versus, What do I wish I was doing right?

Lynn Grogan [00:22:13]:

No. That totally makes sense. And I know this is just like the crash course on how you, you know, would recommend things, but I also know that you do this within your business. Right? Like, somebody could come and hire you to help set this up. Is that right?

Rachelle Siebke [00:22:25]:

Absolutely. So the my favorite way for people to work with me is to, work with me for 6 months over time because we’re gonna do all your personal finance and all your business finance. We’re gonna do it in 6 months, and I handhold you through the whole thing. Meaning, I’m actually on the call doing the systems while you’re on the call. So you’re not getting a bunch of homework that is just gonna leave you spinning and confused. But I do also offer what I call a quick win, which is easy payday. So you can work with me for 3 sessions for, 3 weeks in a row, and you’ll have this whole, profit versus the setup when you leave.

Lynn Grogan [00:23:05]:

Amazing. Yeah. Because I was gonna say, I know for myself and probably others is like, you hear this thing, you’re like, yeah, that sounds amazing. And then it’s the spinning. It’s the spinning. So I love that you offer that service because I could you know, as entrepreneurs, it’s helpful to know, like, what is out there for you. Did we cover everything you wanted to talk about in that section?

Rachelle Siebke [00:23:24]:

I will go, quickly through some other things. So, that’s the whole thing about money coming in the door. You also wanna do the same sort of thing for your money coming into your personal checking account. So know what the what you want to do with the money as it’s coming in. I like to use a software called YNAB. It’s this, acronym. It stands for you need a budget. My clients call it, like, Tetris for money or gamification of your money. I love it because it’s a simulation. You can decide, Okay. This much money is coming in this month, and this much money is going out this month, and then you plug your numbers in, and you can really click click really quickly see. I made a wrong decision there, but you’re making the decision ahead of time and you can adjust. So I love to use YNAB for that. And, again, you’re setting up your YNAB not in this, like, wishy washy. I hope it works out this way. But in, these are the things that I dream about. These are the things I desire. These are the places I want my my time and my money and my energy to go to. And then I’d like to also one of the last, things that we work in is What is my business not already providing me that I want in my life? So whether it’s More things in your business like giving yourself better benefits than any employer will ever give you, lots of paid time off. Right? Sick time, health insurance, life insurance. What are the benefits that were available to you when you were working a full time job, if that’s your situation that you left, or, what are benefits that I’ve never had, because I’ve never had a full time job. Right? But, like, other people talk about, you know, sick time, and I would sure like some sick time. Like, how do we set that up so you get that? So it’s either in your business or in your take home finances. So maybe it’s a remodel. Now we know, okay, what’s your budget for this remodel? You also wanna take a vacation. You also want to go out for dinner, with your girlfriends once a week. Let let’s figure out what that looks like, how much That is and now we have a revenue goal. Right? So, like, if we think about Frank, and he’s like, Oh, man. He has to cut brunch. Right? What we would do with Frank is, like, understand what his monthly net is at home, And okay. This is what you need. Right? I think they were looking at his conscious spending plan, and he was like, okay. 4,000, I’m pretty sure I can bring in. And then it was like, I don’t know, 53100 or something or 58100. And it was like, okay. You’re short this 1800. So now we have a revenue goal of, like, how do we create $1800 more in revenue, and we know exactly where it’s gonna go when it comes through the door, which can also be a motivator in your business to make more money when you know what it’s going to do for you when you bring it home versus just the idea. I think we all are, like, well, if I made more money, then I would be able to Have a Rich Life. It’s like, let’s decide and then do it on purpose. So that’s the other thing. And I remit on the street, that little segment there that we saw, where people were stopping and asking him, I’m a freelancer. I’m self employed. What should I do? Where should I put my money? So don’t forget to invest. So many of us business owners are so, committed to investing in our business, but don’t forget to invest in your future At least some percentage. You can use a Roth IRA, or if you’re incorporated, you Use a SEP IRA or a 401k. Again, I am not a certified financial planner, so I will not be able to give specific advice on that, but just to know that there are containers to do that and you want to be, Doing a percentage, start with 1% today. If the only thing that you do when we end this podcast is start 1% today and then turn it up to 2% next quarter. Right? By the end of, a couple of years, you’ll be up to 15%, and it’s It’s so important that you don’t wait until one day when you’re rich. I think, Ramit also talked to Drew about this. Right? He was like, I don’t care if you have debt. I want you investing in your future now even if it’s only $50.

Lynn Grogan [00:28:07]:

Yeah. And I think that’s a very important piece of advice, because I do think it’s easy to go well. I’m not making that much money or I’m in the red and it’s just like a little bit. But you’re absolutely right. Like once you scale up and you start making more money, it’s like, if you don’t have it in place to begin with, or you’re afraid to look at it, It’s not like, oh, now I’m making, you know, I had a great month. You’re suddenly gonna be willing to look at it. You’re probably gonna, you of the same brain. The one that didn’t wanna put those systems in place in the 1st place. And I what I really like about this too is I am not, like, heavy on systems. Once I get something set up, it’s just like, alright. Wash, rinse, repeat. I probably do laundry the same way as when I learned when I was in the 5th grade. Right? I’m just like, I’m not learning new skills. Whatever. This works for me. I just throw it in. Press go. And so it’s like I think that’s the thing I always assumed is like, oh, this is gonna be complicated. I’m gonna have to, you know, talk to a CPA, and it’s gonna be really hard to have those conversations, and I’m not gonna understand going on. But if you make it very simple and like straightforward and automated, which is what you’re recommending, which is what Ramit recommends, it’s like, It’s just there for you and it gets to support you and you can, like, learn to feel safe around it versus, I’m scared to look. Yeah. What if I can’t have the things I want?

Rachelle Siebke [00:29:27]:

Yeah. It’s a difference of having your own back and having your back up against the wall. Ramit talks in the episode like, hey. You don’t wanna be, and it’s basically your back is up against the wall. Right? I believe he’s talking to Frank When he says that. And what he’s saying is when your back is up against the wall, you’ve got no creative energy. You have to do what has to be done in order to Pay the bills in order to survive, in order to eat, in order to whatever. Right? And so when you have a system in place, that is having your back and it’s it’s helping take care of your current self and also your future self.

Lynn Grogan [00:30:07]:

Yeah. And I think, I mean, and this goes for people who are employees as well. I know that for a lot of people, there can be a fear of what if I’m fired? What if I don’t sign those next clients and, you know, it’s, if you have a system in place, if You have money set aside. If you know where it’s coming and going, you don’t have to be as afraid of that thing happening. I think it’s just like having that in place. I mean, granted Everybody is different and everybody has a different relationship with money. But, I know for myself, like, I have been fired from a job in the past. Mhmm. And it was just like, If you know, like, okay, the next several months, I’ve got that figured out. YNAB is great for helping you with that because the whole idea there is that, like, oh, I know, you know, where the money you know, like, You have it dialed out for the next 6 months or whatever amount of months. But I think that’s part of it too. It’s just like you can have your own back if you have a system in place.

Rachelle Siebke [00:31:01]:

Yeah. I think it’s it’s twofold. Right? Like, we all know as life coaches, like, your circumstances do not actually create the way that you what your results are. And, why not make the circumstance, right, be in your best interest so it’s easier to think Those things. So it’s easier to feel those ways. So it’s easier to take those actions. So it’s easier to get the results that you’re looking for.

Lynn Grogan [00:31:25]:

Absolutely. Yeah. Because it’s a lot easier for many people to think thoughts like, oh, I’m gonna be fine no matter what. If you’re like, I have that emergency fund set up for myself. Yeah. And that’s what it’s there for, emergencies.

Rachelle Siebke [00:31:38]:

Yeah. Absolutely. It’s all good. Thanks for asking. What do you want to say about Frank? And and you probably have, a really great perspective on this as well as this is your lifestyle. So what would your advice to Frank be?

Lynn Grogan [00:31:54]:

I mean, honestly, my advice to Frank would be like, hey, you’ve got some great help with Ramit right now, but just keep finding that help. If it seems out of reach, like, oh, but I don’t have the extra money to go and hire somebody who does something that Ramit does. You know, we started out this conversation talking about the library. There are resources out there. Lots of them, you know, and I shot a see you nod right away with this. I mean, it’s I think there’s this idea that, like, okay, there’s gonna be this huge barrier to entry there, but it’s like part of being an entrepreneur is knowing like, Hey. Here’s the DIY version of it, but there’s also people out there willing to help. Maybe there’s a swap for Frank. Maybe there is, you know, something else there. So I guess that’s kind of where I often go things is how can you get scrappy with it, in order to get to your dreams.

Rachelle Siebke [00:32:48]:

Get scrappy with it. I love that that. It so matches your risk tolerance too, I think. So Yeah.

Lynn Grogan [00:32:53]:

Yeah. And I Did see you nodding nodding vigorously, like, oh, yeah. There might be some, you know, accessible resources out there. Do you know any offhand that you recommend?

Rachelle Siebke [00:33:06]:

can fit this whole stack in my hands, but This is, like, literally the stack of books that I always keep beside me because I’m constantly giving people recommendations. And so I put together a resource. If you go to my website, there’s a link there that says fun money. And I don’t think you need any more money rules because these books are full of them. Like, Pick 1 and go with it, but the fun money guide that you sign up for there has a, favorite money books resources, and it’s Most of the authors are women. I do have a few white male authors on there, but I I know that it’s important to my clients and the that I work with to start thinking about money as something that is not just for rich white males. And so there is a variety of, different, types of authors and different types of advice, so I think that’s a great place to start. And if that is too overwhelming for you, just email me and I will just ask you some questions and Point you to a 1 book to start.

Lynn Grogan [00:34:26]:

Yeah. I think that’s great advice. And I think too is, you know, to throw back to our last episode with Shyloh, like, finding great money role models. Like, it can be really helpful just to, like, populate your feed with some people that you feel like give great money advice. Right? So it’s, like, top of mind. I mean, one of the things, that we, you know, that we see in these episodes with Drew is, he starts going to these job fairs and whatever. It doesn’t, like, come to fruition in that job fair. But what Ramit says that really resonated with me is that, like, When you start taking these actions, you send a message to yourself that you’re investing in yourself. You’re sending your message to yourself of change. And so I think any of these small things you can do listening to this podcast, it starts sending the messages like, hey. Maybe the way that I’ve always done things, or if just left to my own devices. This is how it comes to be. Like, with Frank, like, brunch, money just goes out the window. Like, he’s buying slippers and stuff. He’s not like super conscious about things. When you send yourself a message of like, hey, maybe I can do this differently. Like, you know, you start thinking differently. You start feeling differently about it. You’re more willing to look at things. Your actions are different. And so I think, not discounting those little things and, like, what impact that can make on you.

Rachelle Siebke [00:35:45]:

Yeah. And so in the life coaching world, right, we call this collecting evidence that it’s working. And so one of the things that I’m doing right now, I have a quick link client that I’m working on, the easy self pay days that we were just talking about, the profit first system. And she was calling and she was asking me some questions, and, you know, you could kinda tell she’s a little bit disappointed, like, Oh, I didn’t get the thing done because I got to this point in the question asking, and it was, like, a no for me. And I was like, yeah. But now you know. Right? Like, Notice all of the things that you did that were really good with money while you were doing that thing. Right? So, like, the task Didn’t get crossed off, but you learned something, you asked somebody, that you respect, you talked about money. Right? You you started, like, searching for, like, what is important to me here? What are the things that I don’t even know that I don’t know? Right? Like, Those are all good things. Those are things that people who are good with money do, so build the evidence that you are doing the things. I think probably 85 to 90% of the things that we do with money are good with money. And then There’s the 15 or 10% of things that we do that are like, you know, like, maybe and and you hear Ramit talk about that too. Right? He’ll say, like, I think with Millie and Christian, Oh, they’re doing some really great things, but they’re doing a couple bonehead things. Right? But the only thing that we see when we think we’re not good with money, when we’re not Collecting evidence that we are good with money is the things that, like, need to be tweaked. It’s like those things can be tweaked when you’re willing to have awareness about them, And you’re more willing to have awareness when you think you’re good, when you think you’re doing it well. And so, yeah, going back to Drew in the networking, Ramit has a class called, dream jobs. I actually took that course. It’s Fantastic. Those, interviews that he’s talking about, really interesting. I mean, I would recommend anybody have these interviews. They’re great for networking calls too, and and building this networking skill. And I thought it So great to see Drew because he was like, man, I could’ve been doing this 6 years ago. Like, nothing has changed other than my mindset. And when Ramit says, Yeah. 9 out of 10 of these are probably gonna go nowhere, which I kinda disagree with because I think 9 out of 10 of I mean, I think, A networking call is always worth it, but, but he said 1 out of 10 will change your job search. So just think about that. Yes. With the interview calls, but the networking calls, right, the things that we do to build our businesses, And also the things that we do with their money. 1 out of 10 things that we do will completely change the game, so worth doing them.

Lynn Grogan [00:38:50]:

Yeah. And you never know what’s going to happen. So it’s like staying open to it. I mean, I have gotten all of my last jobs through networking And I can’t, I was like trying to wrap my head around. I’m like, how would you even find a job these days if you weren’t just like reaching out to your network and just asking questions and whatnot? I have gotten jobs just by offering value, just by, you know, sending a message and just being like, hey. Do you need help with this? I will volunteer or whatever. And they’re like, Actually, do you have skills around this? Like, I wanna hire that. You know? So Yeah. You might be surprised at any approaches like that, but I think it surprised Drew. I mean, he says at one point, maybe a little judgmental on himself, like, dang, I could have been doing this 6 years ago. It’s like, well, of course, all of us could have been doing many things many years to go, but we know today. We know we know differently today or somebody brought something to our attention, and now we haven’t we have different options we didn’t know were there before.

Rachelle Siebke [00:39:43]:

Yeah. And can we talk for a minute about his results? He said, which I really think was a downplay. He said it’s a lateral move, but I’m making twice as much money. That is not lateral. No.

Lynn Grogan [00:39:56]:

I think yeah. He was just like, well, it’s the same job. I’m like, for twice the amount though, that’s life changing amount of money for him. Life changing amount.

Rachelle Siebke [00:40:05]:


Lynn Grogan [00:40:08]:

Well, and I know, like, we talked about money as it comes to business, but we also wanted us to talk about money as it comes to relationships. Because, I mean, I think you had some stats in here, which I’m gonna make you read because you know them better than I. But, you know, we hear Millie, Andrew saying, you know, I don’t wanna be overly reliant on my partner. I don’t wanna depend on them. I wanna be able to stand on my own 2 feet. And you had such amazing points about this, and I’m gonna let you take it from here.

Rachelle Siebke [00:40:36]:

Yeah. Thanks for, setting the stage for that. So I see this a lot with my clients, the idea of joining money. So you can do money a couple of different ways. 1 is, like, Everybody joins their money and everybody has a joint account, or people keep separate independent accounts, or You make 1 financial joint account for everything coming in and out of the house, and then each individual has their own, guilt free spending. That’s my personal favorite. And the way that I love love is when couples get together and they do it the the way that, Remi is suggesting with Millie and Christian. Christian makes 3 times as much money as Millie, and Millie insists on paying half because she doesn’t want to be dependent.

Lynn Grogan [00:41:41]:

That was a surprise to me, her resistance to having any other way of doing things.

Lynn Grogan [00:41:56]:

Well, I get it. I mean, I get it. You know, like she wants to she thinks of herself as being as, you know, a strong woman who has her own business, who’s making it happen, who relies on mindset. You know, like, she’s she’s changing so much about her life, and she’s making it mean that he makes more money and she makes less of like, there’s something wrong with the situation or there’s something less about what she’s doing. And she’s putting a lot of emphasis on that 50%. And I mean, it’s it’s actually holding them back, holding her back.

Rachelle Siebke [00:42:31]:

Yeah. So what ends up happening when you are disproportionately paying into the joint finances or disproportionately dividing. Right? So I have some clients that keep everything separate, and then it’s like, I’ll pay the big things like the mortgage and the bills. You pay the groceries, the day care, and the travel, and pretty soon lifestyle creep makes Paying that random shit a lot more expensive than paying the big overall bills. And the person who is making the main, percentage of money and is paying the main, like, monthly net type of things, Also is the person who has paid benefits and also is the person who is, invested heavily. Right? It’s like maybe they’re maxed out on their 401k at work, and maybe they have a Roth 401k. And they’re just looking at you like, yeah. You’re just not very good with your credit card. I don’t know what you’re gonna do about that situation because they’re not looking at the numbers. They’re not really revisiting the numbers as their lifestyle is creeping. And because the other person is thinking, I’m just not good with money. I’ve never been good with money. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I guess I’m just really bad at this. I I’ve helped 2 different people, that I can specifically think about in ways that I think there is a lot of gender socialization, that came up and, like, yeah, women are just bad with money and bad with credit cards. Right? And I don’t think it was anything that was ever explicitly said. It’s just sort of this undercurrent of belief. And what we don’t realize is how many of the joint household accounts were going on that credit card, and then they were trying to make up for big expenses that really were joint expenses, and because They didn’t wanna look at it because they had shame around money, and they didn’t make the same amount of money as the other contributor. Right? And so, Doing that work is really helpful. Like, looking at those numbers and having these discussions, nobody actually wants to be in the situation where they’re making less money and contributing more when they can actually see it. And what I wanna say is, like, reverse the other way. Right? Because I do think that that happens a lot the way that Millie was like, I don’t wanna be dependent at Drew as well. I don’t want to be taking advantage, but on the opposite end, like we see with Christian, like we see with Mikey, hey. I love you. I don’t want you to struggle. They just don’t know because they’re not having open conversations about money.

Lynn Grogan [00:45:25]:

Yeah. And that’s, that’s the part where it’s always, it’s interesting to watch because you do see the partner saying, no, I wanna contribute more because I make more. And then the other partner saying, no, I don’t want that. So it’s kind of like, how do people meet in the middle there? Like, How what is the mindset work for somebody to be able to accept the different percentages?

Rachelle Siebke [00:45:52]:

That’s a really great question. I think it depends really on the individual, like, what’s going on behind why why do you not wanna be dependent. But what I I do think is this is a great place to point out when we are afraid. Right? When when our thought about the thing is I do not want to be dependent on you, and we insist on making equal contributions. You literally become more dependent because You are paying equal portions, meaning you have less portions for yourself. Right? And the other person is paying equal portions, but making much more, and they have more portions for themselves. And so if, God forbid the relationship ends, which I’m not wishing this for any of these couples, and they all seem extremely lovely and very committed. So I don’t think that this is, a danger for them. And at the same time, we don’t wanna ignore the fact that half of all marriages end in divorce. But 2nd marriages and even higher rate, 67% of 2nd marriages end in divorce, And I think it’s 73% of third marriages end in divorce. So let’s not Make our plans based on we’re going to be together forever. Let’s make our plans on, like, what’s happening today? What are our numbers today? What can we do to equally contribute today so that I also have space and I also have room to especially If you are a business owner who is with somebody who has a corporate job, who has benefits, and has life insurance and has, retirement investment four zero one k set up. You’re an a self employed person. You want to make sure you have a percentage of your things going to yourself too because Not only are you then not dependent on your spouse, but you’re not dependent on an employer. So we think that these are good things, right, to not be dependent on somebody, but when we are adamant to not become dependent on somebody, we actually make ourselves more dependent because we’re contributing more than we have to contribute.

Lynn Grogan [00:48:26]:

Yeah. Well and I think too is it’s not like there is, a definition that’s like, this is what it means to be independent, and this is what it means to be dependent. There’s no, like, okay, here are the parameters. Right? So somebody could be like, you know what? I am self reliant, but I put in 25% of mine, and they put in this percent of theirs, or we both put 50%, but the 50% number is different. Yeah. It doesn’t mean that then Millie is dependent on Christian. It just means that they have a financial arrangement. She can still think about herself as being independent, and It doesn’t matter what the numbers are going in and out. I think it really is like a state of mind is like, Hey, if we split up, do I got me? Do I have my own back? It goes back to what we’re saying about Frank. Like, is your back up against the wall, or is there a system in place that means, you know, If something else was to the other person, god forbid, it’s like, yeah. You know what? I still got me.

Rachelle Siebke [00:49:25]:

I’m so glad you said that because, again, The number that we’re contributing does not is not the metric for whether or not we’re too dependent. And, also, Why is it a problem to be dependent on the person that you’re partnered with? Right? So, like, those are the things that we would really be looking at. What is the mindset shifts that we would need to change in order to make the Percentage is not a problem. But the other thing that I wanna say too is the second part of these statistics were, Why, like, what comes into play for end of relationships? And It’s a very high percent. 58% of couples reported arguing, in excessive conflict, 45%, that they were married too young and 38% because of financial problems. So just imagine if you can have conversations around financial problems, now you’re addressing The 58% of people who are arguing and have excessive conflict and the 38% of people who are having financial problems, Like, that’s a huge percentage change to put you in a different statistic category altogether. Absolutely. Able to have that conversation about dependency and contribution changes the game for everybody.

Lynn Grogan [00:50:54]:

Yeah. Well, and I think too is regardless of what anybody takes from this show, any of the cast members, anybody watching it, you really do see a shift in demeanor for every single cast member by the end of it. Whereas, you know, I think, Matt and Imani were a really good example of this. They were, like, one of the 1st couples we meet on the show. They start out really, like, standoffish with each other, really, defensive really short with each other. And by the end, you can see they’re looking at each other. They’re, like, open with each other. Their body language just indicates something else is going on for them. You see that a lot of the couples. So I think even if it’s like, you know, the math of it hasn’t been all ironed out yet, there’s still some, boneheaded habits in place. Like if some people can connect differently about this it isn’t an immediate argument and you’re like, the door is open to talk about this. I think that, you know, that’s kind of some of that evidence that change can happen.

Rachelle Siebke [00:51:54]:

I’m so glad you mentioned Matt and Imani again because we can literally see them. Their body language completely changed where they just are melting into each other in the most beautiful way because they have been able to connect in a way that they weren’t connecting. And And they are also another great example of I don’t wanna be dependent and not splitting the, the contributions contributions equally. Right? And so who’s to say that Contributions are only financial. We’ve had lots of discussions. I think if you haven’t heard those discussions at the past episodes, definitely go back and listen to those. If You haven’t watched the series, it’s only 8 episodes, and they’re short, super bingeable. Some of the comments I’ve gotten on Instagram, messaging with people about this is like, oh my gosh. I’ve been to that series so fast. I wish there was so many more. It’s such a great way to Think about so many things with money and and broach so many conversations. So I think between those 8 episodes and these Four episodes in a few lives that we’re doing gives you a lot to think about.

Lynn Grogan [00:53:13]:

Absolutely. And I think honestly, for anybody, a good first step, if you’re like, How do I think about this for myself or with my partner? Just put it on. Just put on the show. Like, I know that for myself and my husband, this spurred a lot of conversations just watching it together. I’ve had a few clients say the same thing. They’re like, you know what? I just turned this on. You know, it was great too to hear, like, Their kid was in the room. Right? Like, okay. Amazing at this early age. And so just even exposing yourself to different ideas like this is, like, a way to start, like, shifting things for yourself. And if you want even more than that, Ramit also has a great podcast where he talks to full, so there’s endless resources out there.

Rachelle Siebke [00:53:55]:

Absolutely. He has a great podcast where he talks to couples. He’s got a great book, audiobook. I actually have his book in a paperback format, in a, Kindle format, and in the audio format. I love all of them, and he’s got some great courses. And then the next thing I would say is, I mean, he’s amazing. He’s got great content. And If you’re looking for somebody who will work with you 1 on 1, look around for other people that have that sort of format. Right? Like, use it as a base so that you know what you want to look for if you can’t, you know, get on the show And reach Ramit 1 on 1, or run into him on the streets and ask him somewhere to meet on the streets. Like, look for a coach who can work with you 1 on 1.

Lynn Grogan [00:54:43]:

Absolutely. Well, as we wind up here today, those very last episodes, any last thoughts before we wrap up?

Rachelle Siebke [00:54:52]:

I think for me, that’s I I think I just wrapped it all up. Like, just look for the resources that are available for you already. If you don’t know how to get started, just watch an episode, and you will soon be in this wealth of, I see things differently. Oh, like, what’s one thing I wanna work on? And just one You don’t have to do all of the things. So this is one of the things that I say with my clients a lot is I’ve been doing this and building my systems for 20 years. It didn’t look like this the 1st time. Right? So I’ve got a client I’m working with right now. She’s extremely like, oh, what do I need to do? I need to fix this. I need you to tell me what to do so I can get this fixed by like, listen. Just as Runeet said, you did not get here overnight. Right? It took you 30 years to get to the point where you are in your financial life. You do not have to change everything over 1 week. Allow yourself to just do one thing, and and then really think about, like, what is the big, like, the big decision I can make that makes all of these levels decisions, like, less relevant.

Lynn Grogan [00:56:07]:

Absolutely. And, you know, this podcast don’t have to be the end of the conversation. Rachelle and I are both on Instagram. You can message us all you want. I’m @lynngrogan on Instagram. And, Rachelle, what is yours?

Rachelle Siebke [00:56:20]:

Rachellesiebke.moneycoach on Instagram.

Lynn Grogan [00:56:25]:

Yes. And, all these links will be in the show notes. I know We had some books and some tools and all of those things, we’ve mentioned throughout the episodes. So those will definitely be in the show notes. And, So yeah. So thanks for joining me, Rachelle. It’s been amazing, this whole series.

Rachelle Siebke [00:56:40]:

Ma’am, thank you so much for, accepting my pitch. It’s been so fun.

Lynn Grogan [00:56:47]:

It’s been a joy. So thanks for joining us today, and till next time. Bye now.

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Lynn Grogan host of the Reality Show Life Coach podcast

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Hi! I’m Lynn Grogan. It’s my passion as a life coach to help you escape the status quo and live a fulfilling life on your own terms!

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