Playing by the Rules with Shaun Roney | The Bachelor S24, E1

Shaun Roney ADHD Life Coach

This week I invited Certified Life and ADHD Coach Shaun Roney on the Reality Show Life Coach podcast to help me coach the contestants of The Bachelor on their issues.

One of the biggest themes we see this week involves social rules: who’s following them, who’s not, and all the drama in between.

It’s a super fun episode and I can’t wait for you to listen!

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Full Episode Transcript:


Unedited Transcript

all right welcome to the very first episode of The Bachelor life coach podcast I’m super super excited I’m Lynn Grogan I’m a certified life and weight loss coach and with me today I have Shaun Roney.

Shaun do you want to go ahead andintroduce yourself hi I am Shaun Roney thank you so much for having me when I’m super excitedabout this I’m a certified ADHD coach and so what that means is I work with people whohave ADHD tendencies is how I refer to it um so things that they see they don’thave to be diagnosed in order to be diagnosed for ADHD do you actually need to see a physician and they willdiagnose you but we all have tendencies to some extent and so I coach aroundsome of those tendencies we can talk about that a little bit more as we go on yeah totally and that’s what I thoughtwas like interesting to have you on the show because you are a superfan but you’re also a life coach and so it wasinteresting to get your perspective on this because I know nothing about ADHD I know a little bit more because I didsome research but up until now I’m like well I don’t know anything about this so tell me about like you watching TheBachelor because you had kind of a fun thing to say about your husband yeah so he started watching The Bachelorfirst I was not a fan because of all the drama I was just ridiculous but it wasthe one time we had to like sit on the couch together and kind of connect through a shared activity he likes towatch TV I don’t mmm so I started watching and as seasons went on I totally got into it we’ve not missed aseason you’ve watched them all that’s amazing I am really jealous of that because ABChas made it very very hard for people to watch previous episodes yeah so I am anewer fan but like you know like you’re you and your husband got hooked right away and my husband’s also into it tooit’s just like now I’m like I couldn’t imagine not watching it so super fun so I want to let’s see why don’t we justlike go ahead and dive right in and then we’ll see what happens I thought wecould start with just a big a brief show recap for anybody who hasn’t watched it or just need some memory and Shawn feelfree to dive in as I go through this all right so this is the first episodewe have the bachelor Peter Weber and 30 women and so you know in true bachelorfashion everybody comes in kind of ridiculous what was your favorite person like what was your favorite person coming in oh my goshtricky that’s I didn’t have a favorite no I know right it’s like on the spotand what’s funny it’s what comes to mind are like my lease well the one thatsticks in my mind and maybe it was more of an observation was when they said someone was flying in and he lookedsuper intrigued like excited almost wow if there’s someone like pilot like youknow he’s like I’m gonna lose my mind yeah like taxiing a plane in here I’m gonna lose my mind I think he said thatand then she came up on the pedal flame and you saw his face just moments yeah Ithink so I like that moment I mean I also kind of love the moment where Hannah came in cuz I was just like okaylet’s kick off the drama all the ladies in the house get riled up and you knowthere’s still that mystery there we don’t know why she keeps showing up and so like at the very tail end of theentrances we have Hannah Brown showing up just to return a little trinket what was it like his wings or something hispendant yeah I think his wings yeah yeah and then okay so then after that we havePeter going into the house and then we have these one-on-one times right before the rose ceremony and I mean right awaylike Hannah Anna’s stirring things up she’s like interrupting like we kind of expect this at this point right like Idon’t know why it’s a surprise to the people in the house I know right if you’ve watched the show clearly ifyou’ve applied to be on it you know that you’re in for a rollercoaster yeah so I always think that’s a little funnytelling a cheek that they’re so shocked yeah they’re always so shocked yeah and so we have Hannah an interrupting threetimes and we have the first elimination he eliminates eight women including all three flight attendants which I thoughtwas kind of interesting I don’t know if that was just like his thing he’s like I just don’t date in-house like tendons but after that we have thefirst group date where the women have some obstacle courses that are flightrelated and then of course we have Kelly who cheats straights the finish linegood for her and she gets the first group date rose then we have Madisondoing the first one-on-one date have they ever so she met his entire family like have they ever done that beforethat you know they have but it seems really it seemed really early in the seasonliterally first episode to take someone to meet the family yeah and so I feellike it’s usually done a little bit later in the season when they really have a feeling for who they want to keep around and how that person would clickso having it so early I almost thought well of course she’s gonna get a rose how like how could I send amazing aftermeeting you know his family in such a personal occasion yeah it’s interesting I felt like that was the least dramaticpart of the premiere like when I rewatched I was like I could skip that part they had like this wholesome momentand then we can go right like yeah so of course she gets the rose at the end and then the last part we have is thatsecond group date which is hosted by Hannah brown again previous Bacheloretteprevious girlfriend of Peters and you know everybody freaks out again and thenwe have a cliffhanger we don’t know what happens right what do you think’s gonna happen oh I mean I think she’s there becauseshe’s gonna bring interest in drama for sure you know I think part of it is production on the shows part um I dothink you know she’s being real as far as with her emotions and I think theshow is really good and I’m not sure how they do it but in my mind I picture like sleepless nights like a teeny bit ofsleep and a lot of alcohol and yeah theyput them right on the break I know and none of them look tired like at that rose ceremony they’re all likebright-eyed and I was like did they get like a power nap do they like have some secret to the universe that we don’t have like I wouldbe like curled up in the corner sleeping by that point I fall asleep at like 8:00 p.m. like every dayI know I was actually like joking that I was like I think the difference betweena life coach and a producer on the show is that like a life coach is like oh you don’t have to believe all of yourthoughts and the producer is like you should believe every thought and here’s a few more yes all the emotions justlike fall out yeah totally I know cuz I was like every because they must they’re talking to producers rightlike when they’re in their little one-on-one like behind the camera one of us in the moments the in the moments like that I was like oh man they coulduse a life coach but if they did I’m like I don’t think a life coach could ever be on this show because they would be too good at managing their mindthere wouldn’t be drama okay I’ve thought about that before in the past for sure like oh they could so use alife coach I’m like no but then the show would actually probably fall flat like it would not get you know it wouldn’thave any moments we had a drama it wouldn’t have the drama at all so but yeah I was thinking about that so I waslike I mean obviously neither of us could be on the show we’re married and two old we’re not 23 anymore Sean it’s true it’strue back in the day I mean to get all that trouble that’s the benefit that’sthe bonus to me and like to draw me close to the end and you go all those amazing places and you’re willing to putup with all the drama then it’s guild sales all right let’s coach DUI are youready yeah so we’re gonna do five coachable moments from the show and SeanI like what I love about this is that like I went to open up we’ve been sharing this group doc for this week andI went in there and you had like the most amazing moments picked out but it was just like yes let’s go so do youwant to talk about the first one like what happened and like what you think about it yeah so fun so basically it wasbetween Cheyenne and Hannah and and what happened is Hanna Ann had threeopportunities to talk to Peter she pulled him aside interrupted whatever you want to call it three times and hadtime with him and Cheyenne got really upset about that because she did not feel it was fair so she actually says Ifeel really irked yeah and she takes action she goes and she finds um she finds Hanna Ann and she decidesto have a sit-down talk with her yeah and what was so interesting I was thinking it’s like the movie right whereyou see someone don’t go in there don’t go in there it’s gonna be bad I was literally thinking do not go talk toCheyenne right now because you’re feeling hurt that’s not what this is about you’re not here to make friendsyou’re here to like find the love of your life I know I was like nothing good can come of this girl like sit down Iknow and you know I was thinking about it I was like I don’t know what the actual show rules are but I do know thatlike the only one I know of is like have you watched the show unreal it’s been awhile I want to say I’ve seen it once or twice yeah it’s just like a mock of reality shows like The Bachelor butthey’re one rule is get cut and I was like I’m pretty sure that’s the rule on The Bachelor too and I was like itanything else goes and so I was like thinking about this moment it’s like Hannah Anna you know what it’s almost like it’s like when you go to thegrocery store and there’s like a queue to the back of the store and then they opened another like a third groceryaisle and then everybody’s just like okay I’ll I want to get my groceries paid for and leave but maybe I shouldwait for the people in front of me in line I think that’s kind of what this is and Hanna ants like no I want my groceries I want Peterso anyway anyway what do you thinkhumans like just go get your groceries um so like what do you think what’s going on hereright like so like I think she didn’t have I think that there just wasn’tclarity around why Cheyenne was even like what her what she wanted to get outof that conversation why she even wanted to have it I think for a moment it’s like she tumbled was in the tumble dryerand then thrown out that’s what it felt like after their conversation like she’s all spun around and confused with whythey even talked um I think like looking at her she wantedto like set the record straight and just put it all out there and have Hannah and like hear her and kind of like resist itand fight back so that Cheyenne could prove you know like see if this is what you’re doing and instead yeah I was like yeah I wantyou to have your time with them go get it girl yeah and she just was like this is not the script I had in – no totally and Ithink she wanted Hana and to like acknowledge like I did something wrong and it wasn’t gonna happen right Hannahwas just like no I’m not here to sit and drink wine and sit on the couch I’m here to go talk to Peter and get my husbandoh yeah and I think Cheyenne was just like going into it going well if she says that I can feel better about thiswhole situation and that didn’t happen right like Shannon was never going to dothat no she’s Hannah and actually is coming across as very confident and clear inher intention for being there and her thoughts now I’m sure it’s gonna change in true bachelor fashion yeah what doyou say is that consistent throughout the whole measure but right now sheseems really clear on why she’s there and Cheyenne is um I want to say likethe thoughts that she has are keeping her a little more timid less confident she seems to be coming from the mindcenter the place of like let’s just all get along yes I want Peter and I want tostay but I also like wanna be friends with everybody we all like me down bythe rules maybe she forgot very black-and-white I think she forgot what show she was on they have veryblack-and-white thinking right like like okay if we could all just follow these rules that I have in my brain theneverything’s gonna go swimmingly and we see like that just doesn’t happen like what do you think like would most helpCheyenne moving forward I think really just to stop and consider what it isthat she really wants um and why she’s on the show and just remember that firstand foremost I feel like with the black and white thinking she’s thinking it’s all or nothing soyou’re either gonna follow the rules and that’s how I think she has a belief that when you follow their rules things workout like that’s how you’re supposed to play a game to win like if you don’tfollow the rules is it really a win I think she has a lot of beliefs around that and in order to move forward Ithink she’s gonna have to consider what might this look like that’s different than what I’m doing right now totally yeah she said later yeah yeahand I think too is she’s gonna have to decide which rules to follow and which ones not to and those might be her likeown personal rules for herself right like I might have to do something that I deem unkind in order to get what I wantin making those decisions and like liking them I think that might be like one of the hardest parts and I you knowwitnesses on other seasons too is like people are like maybe doing things that are outside their comfort zones in termsof almost morals and values like would you agree with that totally like thatvoice in her head that’s telling her oh this might seem unkind as you just said or you know what will people think if Icome across as unkind or pushy like all of those she really has to examine andjust like the reason why what why she’s doing what she’s doing totally yeah yeahso it was like such an interesting moment too because usually at this point the show will paint the stealer as avillain and I really don’t think they went there right I think they’re more promoting like hey Peter likes a girlthat takes a risk since bold and she went there and she risked Hannah andrisked rejection from Peter he could have been just like no way this is too much and I see how all the other girlsin the house are resenting you but he doesn’t he doesn’t go down that road he’s just like yeah so I think it was just like an interesting move on hispart like her thought clearly going into this is I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get Peter yeah and I think pairedwith like knowing who you are know I feel like part of Cheyenne struggle isshe’s not really clear on who she wants to be yeah I think she knows who she hasbeen and now she’s in a situation where she’s really gonna have to look at that quickly and come up to speed with whodoes she want to be now going forward Anna Anne seems pretty clear on who she is totally yeah and Ithink it’ll be interesting I hope I hope Cheyenne stays on the show long enough to see that because I feel like it’sinevitable that you have to go through some sort of personal transformation on the show if you stay like you have to open up and be vulnerable to get therose right like that’s the prize for being vulnerable on the show is the rose so so good well let’s move on to thesecond moment so what do we got next oh this is a good one talk about thisthis was Victoria Victoria yes there’sso many Victoria’s so many and there’s her a little bit I think course um soshe first of all Victoria F she has a lot of thoughts in her mind and she saysthat loud she’s like there’s so many pretty girls and just nerve like I’m falling behind like all of the littleout clips of her are her talking to herself really nervously yes and so inthis in this moment she has some time with Peter and it’s a limited time rightit’s like they don’t have a ton of time and she starts to talk to him and says you know I just I’m so embarrassed aboutmy I mean my entrance and the one-liner do you remember the one-liner and he tries to like play it off and be like ohyeah totally that was good and then she’s like was it too much and then he’s all wait a minuteremind me what the one-liner was and so she says it again and I’m just gonna read it oh my gosh can you actually readit without like going into Victoria mode I don’t know but maybe said she’s souncomfortable she’s kind of squirming out of her skin and she says the one-liner that she said was the one thing I want you to know about me isthat I have a very dry sense of humor but that’s the only thing that’s dry about me um um so funny well that’s theone thing she wants him to know about her right right in hindsight I wasthinking this is like Victoria was sitting around with maybe some of her girls and they were talking about greatideas yeah her as she’s coming out of the limo how to make an impression mm-hmm one of them maybe more gold girlsin the group said I know what you should say and then she lived with it totallywithout actually owning it like we can tell she doesn’t own it she doesn’t like it she’s just like she wants to make animpression she’s so afraid that she’s gonna be forgotten but she does something that she would rather have himforget yeah at the end of the day like she’s like probably doesn’t she probablywatched that back and was like I can’t believe I said that um yeah I it washard not to laugh during that moment well and just the spiral downward likenot only did she say it and then not move on but she said it and spun and setit again and reminded him and drew more attention to it and was just souncomfortable with it the whole time yeah and when she finally got interrupted and somebody came to stealPeter there was almost like this moment of relief like oh thank god we can get out of this moment she’s like so this isthe one thing he’s gonna like face his decision on whether I’m his future wife or not yes so you had said somethinglike in your notes yes about past focus right like she’s drawing him back tothis past moment instead of trying to build this relationship forward which ithink is so interesting like how we do this is just like okay let’s tell you about this thing that I’m freaked outabout that I wish you would forget but yet I’m gonna keep pulling you back to it like what do you think that’s allabout I know I think just maybe underlying it just a sense of generalnot enough miss hmm and I think her brain just started to ruminate on Ithink it’s what our brains do kind of goes back to things that we wish we would have done differently and try tolike fix it or redo it we all know those moments where you know you it’s like anhour after something happened and you come up with yes response yeah you’re like I wish I would have said that thatwas good and then she’s just like I think this is a good line I should try it againand it doesn’t work out very well I also think that like her I think her identityis around being a very pretty girl and being the very pretty girl in the room and then it’s kind of I don’t know ifshe knows how to navigate the world without I think like she got there and she’s like maybe her belief beforehandis I can do this I’m pretty like and not in like a derogatory way but just like oh like her confidence comes from beingphysically beautiful and knowing and that she is she’s a very beautiful woman and then she gets into this house andit’s just like wait I can’t believe that anymore but now what yeah and we don’tsee what right we don’t go anywhere with it it just kind of falls flat no what wesee is kind of the borrowed line that she tried on for size that didn’t work out because it just made her herthoughts about what she said just spiraled her down into more insecurity yeah like what do you think would helpher moving forward hey is there hope for her I mean honestly if you like withVictoria just kind of slowing down awareness right is a thing so justnoticing all of the things she’s thinking and honestly I feel like withVictoria what might help is just the simple 478 breathing technique but you don’t know what that it was ADHD so it’slike kind of borrowed from yoga yeah but it’s you breathe in slowly for four counts you hold your breath for eightcounts and then you exhale slowly for eight counts four seven eight yeahstrategy I do with some of my class yeah the start of a session honestly it just kind of sinners you and calms yournervous system so I feel like she could actually do something like that physicaland then like decide how she wants to go into the situation next time I’m withPeter like who do I want to be why do I want to say yeah it’ll be interesting tosee if she brings up this line again my guess is she will not I think she’s learned her lesson I think she’s learnedher lesson and you’re right it will be interesting to see who she besides to show up as the next time um Ihave high hopes for Cheyenne before her but I don’t know about Victoria I Ithink she could use a life coach yeah well and I think I’m Toria it’s justgonna take time right so some of it is you know she has to get really comfortable with who she is and shewanted me and I don’t know that there’s enough time in the span of this seasonfor her to figure all that out I think it’ll be a good jumping off like diving board for her I said her yeah likeshe’ll watch this after the show she sat around with her friends on Monday night probably had a word or two to the friendthat gave her that line in the first place exactly and I should move on all right so next we have kind of still inthe aftermath of Hannah Ann we have McKenna and she’s reflecting on howHannah Ann has won me in first impression rose she’s gotten the first impression rose and we see her sittingby herself she knocks back her glass of wine and she says to not get the rose made me question a lot of things I putmyself out there for a second and she Hannah Ann stole him more than twice she had the balls she did it and I don’tknow why I didn’t write oh I love that moment cuz it’s just like here’s thisgirl that’s like I know I have this in me I have these balls I thought I had balls but she Hannah Ann has balls soit’s like such a fun moment to see that like and it’s something you picked up on to like what do you think yeah what doyou think that that moments all about it like yeah what I loved about that moment is I feel like we see two stages linkedin this little compact moment so we see awareness she knocks back the line and then she’s like wow she went after itlike yeah and I didn’t so there’s awareness but then there’s also curiosity mm mm she is it with thequestion she says and I wonder why I didn’t yeah I feel like she’s kind ofmoving through the first phases of change yes she’s being aware yeah yeah she’sseeing what she didn’t do she saw what she did do and then she saw what she didn’t do in that very short Ranasshe’s like if she could watch her thoughts it would just be like I know I can do this differently I can show up ina way to get the next rose I bet I’m I’m guessing she identifies as being somebody he’s a little bit competitive Iwould think so yeah I think so too it’s engaged for sure you know Victoria F thedifference I think is Victoria is still kinda is fluttering around with like this nervous frantic energy mm-hmm yeahI think Victoria is probably her thoughts are probably something like I’mnot gonna be noticed and McKenna’s like how can I be noticed right she’sthinking like I’m going to be noticed I don’t know how yet but here I have some evidence here ofwhat works yeah yeah I think just Ithink when she said it made me question a lot of things the only other note I had was itI think she’s questioning her her past believes how she’s been in the world upuntil now like what being bold means oh yeah what do you think hazard oh sorryno maybe she hasn’t done that in the past and like does that still serve her is there a way she can be different andnot so maybe judgy about how she felt in the past about bold people yeahwell it’s interesting cuz we see that contrast with Cheyenne Cheyenne’s solution to that was to confront HannahAnn right to feel better and we see that McKenna doesn’t go that route she’s not like you know what Hannah Ann’s not theproblem actually Hannah Ann is the solution like what Hannah and did is the solutionum and she took that information like it was such a winning moment for me cuz I’mlike you could just see that glimmer of I’m gonna get to you like I’m gonna figure this out like I kind of like it Ikind of like it I’ve can’t I’m like kind of excited to see where she goes in the season um yeah just see what her herjourney is like all right I feel like that happens in coaching actually you can sense when someone’s on like thebrink of being ready for coaching and some people like you know as coaches we do consultations to tell my people andhelp find out if they’re ready to move into coaching and so I feel like that’s what I saw in that moment to I was likeoh she’s like so ready for coach like she would do so great with some outside perspective yeahshe’s just ready she is ready yeah you’re right because she’s not going in to blame mode she’s like taking fullresponsibility for how she wants her journey to be on the season um and Ithink she’s almost one of the first people like we see Hannah and already doing it in actions but that like almost seemed premeditated to me right like myguess is Hannah Ann came and she’s like I’m gonna steal him as many times as it takes and I’m gonna give him thispainting right and then you see McKenna like maybe she had some strategy but now she’s like oh I become the next versionof myself right like I’m gonna turn up the volume a little bit which is so cool to see yeah totally she’s ready she’sready for coaching all right what do we got next c1 takes the next one oh rightso this is the scene where there’s a group date and you’re competing on the trikes yeah it’s Hannah and Kelly oh nono sorry it’s Kelly and Tammy Tammy who I love not Tammy’s got some boldness in heranyways Kelly so they’re on this obstacle course they go through all these different sections and the finalsection is they have to jump on trikes and erase this little obstacle course to the finish line Kelly decides to justlike go straight through without following the cones and she wins and Tammy is so upset because she cheatedlike that’s all you hear for the next ten minutes is you cheated oh my gosh she cheatedwhat is cheated what is cheating anyway I know well and I’m wondering like likeby definition it’s almost like you have to get caught to have cheated almostright and the producers clearly were like the producers were clearly like wewant to see where this goes on this on this on this group date like why do youthink it was so important to Tammy that people acknowledge that Kelly cheated Ithink really it’s just because it didn’t out the way that she wanted it to likehad it been what you just said the producer is mixed it and said oh no that’s not what we said to do so itautomatically goes to Tammy and they could have done that just to create more drama yeah but I think Tammy would havebeen fine so yeah that behavior if she had done it in the producer it had goneTammy’s way there would have been no problem but I think because it didn’t work out for her she wanted to haveeveryone kind of come around her and agree on a sense of rightness like what’s right and what’s wrongyeah she definitely had this idea Oh totally and and we don’t see thathappened like the producers obviously were on board and so this whole idea of right and wrong as it applies to TheBachelor right like there’s there’s no sense of that yeah and it’s justsuddenly like I think they went into it thinking like oh there’s gonna be some very clear rules at least for a whileI’ve watched the show I know how it goes right and then we see like from the get-go therules don’t actually fully apply in the same way and then I think that like juststrips them a little bit of their self a sense of control right there like if I know the rules if I follow the rules Ican say sane and calm on the show and then that doesn’t happen right like whatare the rules no no God as I say thatirony of it is that they’re on a show called The Bachelor where they’re competing to meet their future potentialhusband in eight weeks which like what rules is that following it’s not atypical situation but it’s not a typical situation any of you think about it like eight weeks it’s not that long soKelly’s just like well the most efficient way is just just ride right over Tammy’s right there I’m gonna go dothis right um and I think you know Kelly is kind of similar to Hannah Ann whereshe’s just thinking I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get him and I think she has her boost of confidence becauseshe did meet Peter before the show and so she’s thinking like the rules don’t really apply to me anyway because I already had this inwith him I’m sure and then she mentioned something about the selfish mindset shehas kind of a selfish mindset here and like I’m curious about like what that means cuz I eat I relate to that I waslike I was selfish mindset like I want things to work out for me and one could argue kind of Tammy does too she wantedthings to work out for her too like which would have meant by default it didn’t work out for anybody elseYeah Yeah right I know what is I think what is a selfish mindset yeah I getthat Kelly is saying basically she’s putting herself before the other girls but youcould also argue that she’s putting Peter before anybody and that you knowthe girls that don’t do whatever it takes to end up on the one-on-one datewith him are not focused on him they’re focused solely on themselves so not himand building the relationship but they’re focused just on their status with the group the girls in the housethat’s true which almost seems more selfish right because if they were actually focused on Peter they too wouldhave scurried to the finish line yeah I actually didn’t think about it that way it’s just like because it’s nota show like survivor where group dynamics actually matter like if somebody’s really terrible like I’m inuh no I think about Luke P from The Bachelorette where everybody really really hated him you know it’s tiltactually didn’t matter to Hannah and like some seasons it does matter to the people but sometimes it really doesn’tand my guess is that Peters just gonna go with his heart hard on the sleeve andhe’s not really gonna care if the rest of the girls in the house have a stink about somebody you know like not playingfair yeah Oh like what do you think herelike what do you think would help the girls the most right like well let’s think about Tammy right she’s thinkingmore about fairness she’s not focused on Peter she’s not focused on the result that she wants yeah I think fairness isan interesting topic so I think when we want things or expect things to be fair itputs it completely out of our control it means I want things kind of doled out to us in an even fashion everybody gets thesame thing and I think focusing on that is like gonna drive Tammy away from whatshe ultimately wants I think I mean I struggled with this too I used to be a huge know supporter of fairness and nowit’s more like personal equality equality and it starts from within so I want to feel a sense of justice and asense of equality and when I feel those things I’m gonna show up in a way thatcreates more justice and equality in the world versus Tammy she’s looking forfairness from other people it’s not coming and so she’s actually not contributing in a positive way to createmore of it for herself either yeah well she’s abdicating she’s like abdicatingall responsibility then to the rules of the show she’s like if the producers could just come up with some rules sothat I can win then I can win not seeing that like do you like your reasons forfollowing whatever rules you think are there which my guess is now I’mwondering like if she will take a step back and be like oh do I like the roles do I want to play by the rules do I kindof want to like skip over them like these other girls because like there’s no penalty so far like neither of themhave been rejected right you know whoo right and so obviouslyPeter kind of likes it I mean he probably likes to be bossed around a little bit too right like he probablylikes it a little he likes a bold girl we push back I’m sure he loves a little push back you know which brings us toprobably the ultimate rule breaker which you know at the end is gonna be Hannah right like because when we get to thesecond group date which was hosted by Hannah and she has gotten up on stage totell the windmill story like actually we have gotten this far into the podcast and haven’t mentioned the windmill maybewe don’t have to mention it all the rest of the series right she tell us about them having sex four times and then shetells the girls like hey you all are gonna get up on stage and peter is 2 and you’re gonna talk about sexgreat okay the girls were like okay Hannah’s here whatever she’s been here before but then we see some behind thescenes where I thought we got some real emotion from Peter and Hannah I think hestill has a thing for her I think she still has a thing for him but you knowlike he invites her to follow the rules so he’s like hey do you want to join the house do you want to like jump in herelike and be a part of this official thing and then we see her like pause and just be like like what does she have tolose at this point I know I can’t yet tell like how much of it is authentichow much of it is show production I thought with Peter what was interestingis he was like I’m so I’m totally ready to do this I’m over Hannah I did loveher and I I got moved past that and then all the sudden at the end it’s like wellyou know maybe he was over her when he thought she was over him but now theyknows that she’s not he’s kind of like two feet kind of digging Lynne in the water totally yeah and I in that moment I waslike I don’t know if she can come back to this show because you see this side of him that’s kind of weaker like he’scoming from a the kind of jilted lover who was rejected and is now like therecould be a chance right and like in that moment you know he’s four about all of the other women in theother room he’s just like but maybe this woman I loved will talk me back finally right um I didactually I almost forgot about all the other women I was like wait what’s gonna happen is he gonna say no I was likewell maybe this is the part where the bachelor like actually this is the only episode because Peter and Hannah and Ithink like what I kind of loved about the ending of this it’s just the complete meltdown because it’s just likenow collectively we see like an entire group of women who are like if Hannah comes back I’m either marching out orI’m gonna complain and complain right like they’re I think you had a you had an awesome note here where it’s justbasically like okay like that means we’re not enough if we need to bring on another woman and it happens to be thewoman so therefore there’s no competition here it’s Hannah and everybody else in Hannah’s probablygonna win like we suddenly see this like group of women who were so confident going into this just insecure thinkingI’m not enough what else do you think they’re thinking in that moment I mean can I trust him lying when he said hewas over her is he really not over her she has like eight weeks already on thebooks with him yes he knows her so much better I’m sure they’re thinking so many things I think for the first timethey’re like I don’t know if this bachelor is here for the right reasons yeah I don’t know like I I mean fromlike um if you take a step back and like from a show perspective I’m like you can’t have two stars on this show youhave Peter Bates like for that reason I don’t think she’s coming back but I would love for her to come back becausethere would be very many coaching moments like there already were she’s just like she’s just don’t right back into it and like the tears you know likeI think he’s gonna have to take a bold stance too like waiting back the you know the affection of the women andreassure them I don’t think she’s coming back either I think yeah it’s a set up a bit and he’s gonna have to kind of make usdecision like you said so that he’s not seen as kind of that a little bit more if people meek yeah he Dixon yeah he didcome across as that and he looked like he was just ready to go back if shewould say yes he’d be like I’d be off the show whatever right um what contract would probably dictate he couldn’t dothat but I think in that moment he would have been like yeah I got a ring like let me go get a ring from them from the closet right um so be interesting to seelike how they bounce back from this right um I think we have Hannah Ann on that date who’s already feeling prettyconfident so it’ll be interesting to see if she stays as confident throughout this episode and it’ll be interesting tosee anybody quits thinking like well if I can’t control the show I had the onlything I have control over is quitting like what that mindset is all about and they’re all just gonna have to step uptheir game if Hannah did come back they would have to they would have to likedig deep become that person that just like can keep showing up for Peter no matter who’s who else is there who elseis in the house it’s true I think in that case if she does come back thegirls that are already of a strong kind of confident mindset aren’t going tohave a little bit of the upper hand because Hannah has already been through it she’s like lost and won and lostagain and all publicly on TV she has nothing left to lose so she did comeback like there’s no fear for her right a lot of these other girls are really still scared or nervous about what theylook like on TV and they look like in the house and Hannah’s like I’ve looked like a crazy person I might have lost itmultiple times I’m always crying my mascara is always on yeah yeah you know what I’m gonna get Peter he alreadyknows right like she’s already been to the end with him yeah yeah and everybodyelse is like I’m curious to see how time scarcity would come up there cuz there’s already so many of them even this firstepisode that think they’re behind they’re looking around which there’s nobenefit to thinking you’re behind in The Bachelor right because you’re only going to stay behind if you have kind of mindset and so by comparisonI’ll be interesting to see what they do with all that yeah I feel like they’d have to get strategic and like limit thetime that Hannah participates or maybe not you know maybe officially do notallow her back but put her in with the roses I don’t know how they’re gonna do it I don’t know how yeah I don’t knowhow they’re gonna do it I don’t think it’s gonna be boring never never is umso that’s five moments right like five coachable moments we got these fine ladies I can’t wait to see what’s gonnahappen it’s so funny cuz like I’m thinking back to previous seasons I was like oh the first episode there’s not much to coachon there was a lot to coach on here in this episode and it’s only gonna getmore exciting is there any other things from that that you wanted to bring upyeah I second what you just said it is only going to get more exciting I was alittle worried as well about the first episode I was like oh right three hours the girls all come off the limo can wecoach on stuff but definitely things out there yeah yeah there totally is it’s only gonna get better um so let’s wrapthis up here if somebody wanted to find you on the internet square what they looks where were they go Shaun yeah they can go to my website it’s WWE revealed pass calm our e ve D Bass calmwell definitely look up Sean I will have a link to her website in the show notes at Lynn Grogan comm you can find all ofher details over there and thank you Sean for coming on the show today thank you for having me so much fun

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Lynn Grogan host of the Reality Show Life Coach podcast

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Hi! I’m Lynn Grogan. It’s my passion as a life coach to help you escape the status quo and live a fulfilling life on your own terms!

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