I’m launching my podcast in about a month and my brain has been going crazy.
On Friday I realized that I was 5 weeks to my first episode launching and my brain went crazy thinking that not only did I not have enough time to pull this off, but I wasted A LOT of time and should feel really bad about that.
On Saturday I tried to talk myself into believing I was TOTALLY going to be ready, while secretly thinking I might not be. I guess it’s not much of a secret because I’m posting it here.
On Sunday, I was pretty convinced that I wouldn’t be able to find any interesting guests anyway, so why bother?
Today I woke up at 2 AM with general anxiety from who knows what thought.
In the past I would have made this all mean that I should definitely not, under no circumstances, launch a podcast.
Today I can see what’s going on, I’m having thoughts that are creating feelings. That’s really all it is.
My primitive brain doesn’t like change and it’s freaking out. The minute I feel better about one thing (the amount of time I have) it’s tries a different approach (no one will be on the show).
It has also tried to tell me that no one will listen, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t have the necessary skills and won’t be able to learn them, that this will get me fired, it will ruin my marriage, will get me kicked out of my coaching organization… the list goes on.
There are times where my brain seems more believable and it’s harder to feel better. On those days I just try to feel neutral and allow the negative feelings.
What really helps is looking back through my self-coaching to notice the volume and frequency of protests my brain has offered. I see I’m just growing and evolving and my primitive brain is doing what it’s designed to do.
When I see this, I can accept the thoughts and feelings that are coming up without resisting them. Oh… this is the part where I get really dramatic and catastrophize everything. Right on time!
When I try to push these thoughts away, I feel worse and I stop moving forward.
I’m going to launch in a month, no matter what.
This is all part of the journey.